It’s out there. Officially.

So, The Death and Life of Mal Evans is officially out there.

I’ve spent most of the week sending out announcements, joining groups, speaking at book festivals, asking for reviews and relentlessly watching the Amazon charts to see if my book was climbing or falling the charts. It’s been a nerve-wracking week.

Part of my anxiety is that this has been, for the most part, my project and my project only for 10 years. No one else has seen it. And now, boom. It’s on Amazon. It’s on iBooks. Smashwords. Scribd. bn.com. People – mostly friends and family – are buying it and reading it.

It feels a bit odd – like I’m suddenly exposed, my neck on the chopping block for anyone to come by and take a shot. (Friends have already found a few errors that eluded dozens of edits, and I’m kicking myself.) Of course, an author has to have a thick skin, but you’re always wondering if it’s good enough – if your writing is really enjoyable and your friends aren’t just saying it’s good. On the other hand, if it’s not, the truth hurts. Its a tough situation to be in.

The kudos and congratulations feel good. Seeing my book in the top 30 Alternative History New Releases is humbling and exciting. But fame – what little I have right now – is scary. I want it to do well. I want it to be well received and bought – partially so I can make up all the money I’ve sunk into it (Self-publishing is NOT cheap, ladies and gentlemen). But deep inside, you wonder if you belong up there. For a first-time author, I’m sure this is natural.

But it’s not the joy and elation you would think. Part of me wants it to be over, and part of me wonders what I will do after all of it is done. But there is a lot of marketing to be done from what I hear, and for an introvert like me, that’s going to be tough.

People have asked how they can help. If you have a copy – if you’ve read it and enjoyed it – please leave a review on amazon.com and goodreads.com. Tell your friends about it.  That will help more than you know.